BlogHop

As you learn to listen deeply to other people, you well discover tremendous differences in perception. You will also begin to appreciate the impact that these differences can have as people try to work together in interdependent situations. You see the young woman; I see the old lady. And both us can be right. You may look at the world through spouse-centered glasses; I see it through the money-centered lens of economic concern. You may be scripted in the abundance mentality; I may be scripted in the scarcity mentality. You may approach problems from a highly visual, intuitive, holistic right brain paradigm; I may be very left brain, very sequential, analytical, and verbal in my approach. Our perceptions can be vastly different. And yet we both have lived with our paradigms for years, thinking they are “facts,” and questioning the character or the mental competence of anyone who can’t “see the facts.” Now, with all our differences, we’re trying to work together-in a marriage, in a job, in a community service project-to manage resources and accomplish results. So how do we do it? How do we transcend the limits of our individual perceptions so that we can deeply communicate, so that we can cooperatively deal with the issues and came up with Win/Win solutions? The answer is Habit 5. It’s the first step in the process of Win/Win. Even if (and especially when) the other person is not coming from that paradigm, seek first to understand. This principle worked powerfully for one executive who shared with me the following experience.